Ulysses vocabulary

To the third Objection, That supposing the Earth and Moon to move about a Common center of gravity; if that the highest Tydes be at the New-moon, when the moon being nearest to the Sun, the Earth is farthest from it, and its compound motion at the swiftest; and that the Tydes abate as the Earth approacheth nearer; till it comes into the supposed Circle of her Annual motion: It may be demanded, why do they not still abate as the Earth comes yet nearer to the Sun; and the swiftnesse of its compound motion still slackens? And so, why have we not Spring tides at the New Moon (when the motion is swiftest) and Neap tides at Full Moon (when the motion is slowest) but Spring tides at both? The answer (if observed) is already given in my Hypothesis it self.

The Royal Society. Philosophical Transactions: Giving Some Accompt of the Present Undertakings, Studies,and Labours of the Ingenious in Many Considerable Parts of the World, volume I (1666)

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"But what makes the neap tides?"

"Oh, that's when the sun stops to spit on his hands," was the brisk rejoinder.